It was summetime in Melbourne and every year in the botanical gardens they erect a large outdoor cinema and show a mix of movies, new and old. We were casually looking through the program and there was one name that stood out more than the rest. TOP GUN.
Before he was crazy.
I've always had a special affinity with this film. 'You take my breath away' by Berlin(incidentally the city I live in) was the number one single on the day I was born. I had also met Tom Cruise when I was a small child. I don't remember this but my father worked for the Royal Air Force for a while and we went to an air show. Tom Cruise was there along with some other famous actors and somewhere in a box in my parents attic is a signed picture of an F-14 jet.
Now in Melbourne, the tradition is not to simply attend, the philosophy is that everything has to become an event. So we started advertising and getting people signed up to the top gun experience. Booking as a group was considerably cheaper and we had been taking peoples money at the group booking price. We spent all afternoon trying to get through on the phone to no avail. eventually we had to give up - as we had to go costume shopping.
There is a famous scene in top gun where the leading men play volleyball and high five each other a lot. This is largely considered one of the most homo-erotic passages in cinema history so of course this was the theme of the costumes. We were to be 'Goose'.
Not Homoerotic, Not homoerotic...
The fateful day arrived and we still couldn't get through on the phone to buy the tickets. We had hundreds of dollars from our prospective top gunners but no tickets. Myself, Jamey and Dene took our duties as ring-leaders seriously, so we headed down to the botanical gardens to secure our destiny. When we found the ticket office we found out why nobody answered the phone. It was deserted. After hassling several members of the technical crew who were setting things up we tracked down the office of someone who could help. Before we knocked we decided to get changed into our goose gear.
'45 tickets for top gun please!'
With the tickets acquired we had some time to kill, so we played some frisbee in our aviators, fake moustaches, taped up wrists and scandalously short-shorts. I managed to carve a deep gash into my knee when I collided with a tree whilst running full speed to catch the disc.
The hour eventually came when the doors were opened. We directed our horde of followers towards us and 45 close friends descended on the gardens. A small exciteable man ran up to us.
'I'm with the sponsors, do you mind if we take some photos?'
of course we obliged and as a reward we were treated to VIP seats with tons of free food. This is why dressing up is such a good idea in every situation. It was bring your own alcohol so the goon flowed freely(a very good drinking game is to watch top-gun and drink every time Tom Cruise has a close up).
All things to all men.
When Goose dies in the film a battery of engraved dog-tags were launched at the screen in despair. Eventually the film ended and we went off to take our drunkeness elsewhere. I vaguely remember drinking directly from a goon bag in the middle of the rooftop bar and managing not to get thrown out. Others came home covered in bubblewrap. From that day forward Top gun was even closer to my heart than before.
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